Selfie Rules

Apparently there are some unwritten selfie rules out there that no one actually talks about but everyone uses. A lot. So let's lay them out for you. Here are a few of the most popular ones I've come across since selfies became what America is founded on:

Never let your selfie be about anybody but you. If it has to be then just make sure they're ugly.


The saturation button is proportionate to your hotness.


Random Inspirational quotes disguise selfies and make them seem like they're not actually selfies...especially the bathroom ones.


Complaining about yourself always gets you more attention and more comments about how beautiful you are.


If you stand in front of the sun you look like an angel.


If you washout your face enough then no one has to see what your face really looks like.


Always smile in your selfies no matter what's actually happening. Also, wear your seatbelt.


Always take the picture from above to make yourself look smaller and your duck lips bigger.


If at all possible, find a baby to use in your selfie because everyone likes babies and you'll get lots of likes.

There are lots more but for sanity's sake I'm not going into them all.  Also my lips hurt from making the duck face. 

The good thing is, this generation will have lots of material to scroll through when we're old and grey sitting in our rocking chairs one day. "Oh look, a picture of my face. Oh, there I am again! And again..."

You now have the official rules about selfies, so here's my rule that I've always said:

If you're completely comfortable taking a solo need to stop, like now.

There needs to be a at least a small amount of awkwardness involved for it to be healthy. Don't feel awkward? Chuck that selfie stick, put away your duck face and try taking pictures of the people around you. You'll thank me when you're 90.

You're welcome =)